


“you can go to sleep now”

by seokminsfool (ksmyjhknpjktjj)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Idol Verse, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Intentional Formatting, Maybe - Freeform, Sad, Sad Ending, Vague, Work In Progress, non-au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22507132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksmyjhknpjktjj/pseuds/seokminsfool
Summary: “You can go to sleep now, and I’ll be right next to you when you wake up.”
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	“you can go to sleep now”

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!
> 
> this my first ever seventeen fic! I actually am in the process of writing another one, a fic I started writing way before this one, but inspiration is a fickle thing.
> 
> anyways, what inspired this was the mega angsty mood I was in after watching a video that made me sob my eyes out, as well as the haunting instrumental Return of the Soldiers by Peder B. Helland (not saying you have to listen to that as you read, just saying that I did and I could not stop crying, but that’s just me).
> 
> this really isn’t a completed work. it’s only the beginning and the end, but I couldn’t create a middle that I liked, so instead of forcing it, I decided to post what I have. although it’s incomplete, I am satisfied with what I have here, and I hope you are too.
> 
> so, I hope you enjoy!!

“You can go to sleep now, and I’ll be right next to you when you wake up.”

————————

Seungkwan had always lived a nice life. Born on the island of beauty and sunshine, he grew up to be a similar boy. He grew up with his loving family, never knowing a life without love. 

And then he went on to be an idol, where he received unimaginable amounts of love from both his members—or more accurately, his brothers—and their beloved fans. 

The love he received was unconditional, how could anyone not love this boy? What was there to not love about him?

He was kind, beautiful, and endlessly creative. He attracted people from all sides, he was a face of the group for a reason. No one could resist his charms. 

But just because the world loved him, didn’t mean he loved himself. He fought a lifelong battle, one that made the definition of “lifelong” unclear. 

He fought to keep up with everything he had, wanting to stay with his members, his brothers, his family. He didn’t know where his journey ended, or what it looked like, but he was determined to make the most of what he had—and so help him, he would. 

————————

————————

Soonyoung leaned over Seungkwan, holding his beloved dongsaeng to his body as carefully as he could, “It’ll be okay, Seungkwannie. Everything will be just fine, hyung promises.”

Even as he said the words that were meant to be reassuring, the tears streamed endlessly down his face. He could only do so much to control his emotions. 

He watched his little Seungkwan shake in his arms, and pulled him closer, trying to convince them both that everything was okay. 

Soonyoung sat there, cradling his dongsaeng as he shook and quivered, and eventually came to a realization. 

“Seungkwannie, I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay? Can you do that for hyung?”

He watched as Seungkwan gave the smallest of nods, and took a moment to take a deep breath—nothing had ever felt harder in his life, but Seungkwan deserved everything he could give him. 

“You’re one of the most amazing people I know, and I know that sounds cheesy and cliche, but I’ve never said anything truer in my life. I just want you to know how loved you are, Kwannie. You’ve always been the brightest little star, with your beautiful voice, and of course the handsomest face—

He could feel Seungkwan give the smallest of chuckles, and it brought a smile to his face—of course Seungkwan would manage to make him smile, even at a time like this. 

—and I want you to know that I, we, have always felt your radiant glow. There’s no way we complimented you enough to make you understand just how special you are to us, and I’m so sorry. It’s inexcusable. But for what it’s worth, I hope you can understand it now, even though I haven’t said enough, and I’ll never be able to, this is what I can give you.”

“But the most valuable thing I can tell you right now is something that you aren’t going to believe, but I hope you know is true in your heart. There will never be someone like you, someone as beautiful, as kind, as creative, and the whole world will feel that loss for forever. You have blessed us all some of the best memories, and given us the best of times, even if they were too short. Your impact on us, and the world, is immeasurable, because it’s just that expansive. We love you so much, and we always will.”

“There’s just one more thing I want you to know, and it may be the most important of all.”

Soonyoung took an even deeper breath, and watched as his precious, little brother’s body moved gently with his.

“You can go to sleep now, and I’ll be right next to you when you wake up.”

And as Soonyoung watched Seungkwan’s eyes close for the last time, he knew, deep down, that the world had just lost some of its light, and it would never be getting it back.

**Author's Note:**

> the end.
> 
> ok well, maybe. I was thinking of writing some more of this, maybe some more context of how this situation came to be, but I’m not sure. I mostly just wanted to get this out of my system.
> 
> I didn’t mention it above, as I had already written so much, but another thing that inspired this story is my inability to function if someone is told they can go to sleep when they are about to die. I’m not sure why exactly that destroys me every time, but it does, and I don’t know, I wanted to see if I could produce that feeling myself.
> 
> I sort of hope that happened for you, but I also don’t want anyone feeling sad for no good reason, so...
> 
> anyways, please please let me know what you thought, and if you’d be interested in any other pieces of the story. maybe middle context, maybe aftermath? idk
> 
> have a wonderful day!


End file.
